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Self Awareness • Who Knew?

October 11, 2018

 

Several years ago I learned that the final results of a personality assessment labeled me as
shy and an introvert. That did not come as a great surprise, because I was most
comfortable when I was quiet and alone. Unfortunately, as a teenager, my quietness and
time alone was often misunderstood. My siblings usually thought I was upset, or even
angry. Others assumed I was antisocial. I could never understand why my quietness and
aloneness presented a problem for them. After all, I wasn’t bothering anybody.


But along with that assessment, I discovered how shy, introverts are perceived. The truth
is what was comfortable for me was making others uncomfortable. My shyness came
across as being distant, aloof, and even mean. Wow! I was amazed, because that was never
my intention. If I did not approach you first, it was really because of the fear of not being
received or accepted. If I said nothing, it was not because I didn’t have anything to say, but
instead I chose not to say it. My thoughts were kept inside. What an eye opener, to
discover that turning my thoughts and emotions inward was having a negative affect on
others!


I still enjoy being alone, when I can. It still takes extra energy for me to mix and mingle
with a crowd, but sometimes we have to make changes for a greater cause. I have figured
out that I can always retreat to regain my energy. And I am still working on becoming a
better me. I suppose that is a lifetime challenge.


But, who knew that I would defy the odds and ultimately become a public speaker,
positively impacting the lives of others? My fear of public speaking may never completely
go away, but the ability to push past it is rewarding enough to try again and again. My
voice is the voice that will make a difference in someone’s life. If I don’t share it, am I not
being selfish?


So, I made a decision! Since fear will most likely be present, I will just say, Buckle up and
let’s go for the ride, because I will not be silent anymore!”

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