2018 has arrived at its end, and while I am amazed at how quickly this year has passed, I am looking forward to a new me in 2019! The beginning of this year was stressful, to say the least. It was so stressful, that I was in the ER twice in January; once with high blood pressure and the second time with shingles. I struggled to reign in my emotions, and was somewhat successful. The problem was that so many different things were happening at the same time. And even when one thing passed, there seemed to be another waiting to take its place. The cycle actually continued from November of 2017 until December 17 of this year. Trust became an issue (or the lack thereof), and emotions were tried, but I survived!
In addition to the trauma, my personal awareness of internalized negative thoughts and feelings came to the surface. This is not a bad thing, but this awareness did cause me to revisit the pain of mean statements, the lack of affirmation, and the fact that I believed the lies that were told to me, going back to my childhood. The freedom I feel, just by being aware, is amazing! It has taken a long time for me to realize that the issues of others were not my issues!! And to think, I have a degree in counseling! I guess this just proves that the counselor needs a counselor!
So, what’s the point in my transparency? First, I’m looking forward to going into 2019 as a survivor and conqueror of the emotional stress that dominated 2018. Secondly, I have a new energy and confidence that has been before now suppressed because of the lies I believed! And finally, I hope that my transparency will help to lift the level of confidence of the person who has internalized the hurtful comments that suggested that you were not good enough.
The truth is, you are a gift and somebody needs you! Every lie that we believe about ourselves is meant to keep us from becoming the gift that God intended for us. But, this isn’t new! It happened as far back as in the Garden of Eden! The ancient Bible story tells us that a serpent lied to Eve when he told her that God didn’t really mean what He said. He convinced her that God only told her not to eat of the tree of good and evil because she would be as important as God. She believed the lie and we have been paying for it ever since.
Let’s get free of the emotional stress and the deceptions that have affected our effectiveness! You still have time! Go into 2019 free of your personal pain. Don’t put too much energy into cutting people off! When they witness your freedom, they will drop off! So, I am walking into the New Year with a confidence that has been suppressed for too long! You can too! Just say it out loud, “I AM GOOD ENOUGH!”